These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
