My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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