I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
