we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
