he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
