So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
