I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize