just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I party with great urgency now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
