He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
