you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
