Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
