dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Me too!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize