Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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