I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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