based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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