Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
