2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
