Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
