Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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