I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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