I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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