I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
