My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
