I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
