I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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