You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
