Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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