Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
im on a boat
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