i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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