Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
