Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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