I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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