Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
