I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
