before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
