Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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