What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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