im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
