hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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