dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
