Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
