I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize