you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
