And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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