Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
