Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
