just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
