the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You pole danced in your parka.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize