Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
