do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I came so hard my ears popped.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
