i think my mom watched the whole time
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
