im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
