i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
