Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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