No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
