just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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