My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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