Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
