I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
