I am puke
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
